Self Kindness Tips

Lisa Miles gave us a good start on this thread with her tip to tell herself each day what is right about herself.

Let's use this thread for tips about how to practice self kindness. Building on Lisa's suggestion, let's try this:

Each night before going to sleep, combine self-kindness and gratitude in one calming, positive exercise.

Recall three things about the day that you're grateful for and then congratulate yourself for three things you did well that day.

If you already do this or something similar, let us know.

If you start this practice let us know how it works for you.

Tags: gratitude, self-kindness

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Permalink Reply by Stephen Peacock on November 14, 2008 at 9:25am: Well, suffice it to say my evening routine has been a little different, opting for quietly listing all the things I need to do tomorrow rather than taking a moment to celebrate the good things that happened today. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm going to give it a try...a good long try.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lisa Miles Brady on November 14, 2008 at 9:37pm: HA! Well, this will feel a whole lot better. :)

Start by basking in the success of this community launch and the fact that you are so very appreciated.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sandra on February 27, 2009 at 10:15pm: Ways to Increase Self-Compassion: Thoughts & Tips from http://www.self-compassion.org/ways_to_increase_self_compassion.html

Self-Kindness - "What would a caring friend say to you in this situation" "What is a kind and constructive way to think about how I can rectify this mistake or do better next time?" Try putting your hand over your heart or gently stroking your arm when feeling a lot of pain as a gesture of kindness and compassion.

Self-judgment - "Who ever said human beings are supposed to be perfect?" "Would a caring mother say this to her child if she wanted the child to grow and develop?" "How will I learn if it's not okay to make mistakes?"

Common Humanity - Think about all the other people who have made similar mistakes, gone through similar situations, and so on. "This is the human condition - all humans are vulnerable, flawed, make mistakes, have things happen that are difficult and painful" "How does this situation give me more insight into and compassion for the human experience?"

Isolation - "I am not the only one going through such difficult times, all people experience things like this at some point in their lives." "Although I take full responsibilities for my mistakes and failings, I also recognize and understand that my actions and behaviors are connected to other people’s actions and behaviors - nothing happens in a vacuum."

Mindfulness - Take several deep slow breaths and try to be with your pain exactly as it is. Let yourself feel the pain without suppressing, resisting, or avoiding it. Take a moment to stop and say to yourself, this is really hard right now. Let yourself be moved and touched by your own pain. Try to see the situation clearly with calm, clarity and a balanced perspective. "I fully accept this moment and these emotions as they are."

Over-identification - Try not to get lost in the drama or storyline of your situation, feel the feelings as they are, without running away with them. Can you feel the emotions in your body (a constriction in your throat, knot in your stomach, etc.) without getting lost in the storyline behind the feelings? "These difficult emotions so on do not define me, such feelings will inevitably change and pass away." "Don’t take your emotions so personally."; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sandra on February 27, 2009 at 10:36pm: Self Compassion Exercise
https://webspace.utexas.edu/neffk/webpage/self_compassion_exercise.doc; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Craig Pittman on April 4, 2009 at 9:22am: I make a point of incorporating laughter at least one into each day's events. I do this either in conversation of through reading.
On a broader scope I truy always to surround myself with folks I enjoy being with. This includes casual strangers. I go out of my way to shop at places with friendly staff.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Julie M. Baker on April 16, 2009 at 8:12am: Thanks for this reminder to focus on the positive as a way to be kind to myself.

On the other end of the day, I try to start with an affirmation/intention for the day that is positive. Today it was "I am beginning a new day and I will stay focused and get outside for a long walk."; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Craig Pittman on April 17, 2009 at 4:10pm: That is such a good point Julie. If we can begin each day with a positive intention then we can feel good about that accomplishemnt and about ourselves in general.

If I have a committment scheduled that is going to be a tough challenge then I like to start the day with walking down to the Lake to watch the sunrise. That way, even before breakfast, I have done something good for myself and I find that usually carries over for the rest of the day.; ▶ Reply to This