Self Talk

Though this probably fits within the "self-kindness tips" category, I think it's important enough to start a new thread. What you say when you talk to yourself is extremely important. Researchers know that our minds react nearly the same when we physically experience something and when we imagine that same thing. That's the reason that athletes, performers, and someone giving a key presentation will mentally rehearse the event over and over again. It's practice and practice makes perfect.

So, when we call ourselves stupid for making a mistake, the mind says, "OK, I'm living with a big dummy," and treats it as a truth, then creating lots more mistakes because that's what "dummies" do!

Be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy. If you make a mistake or goof up in some way, simply tell yourself you've made a mistake and describe what you'll do the next time to do it correctly.

Tags: kindness, self, talk

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by CJ Scarlet on December 4, 2008 at 1:50pm: Good point, Jerry. When I am at my most self-aware, I am amazed at how badly I mentally batter myself. We would never allow others to talk to us the way we speak to ourselves. I try to make an extra effort to be patient with myself when I make a mistake and it makes a real difference in my self esteem. Thank you for starting this discussion thread. I hope you're having a great day! CJ Scarlet; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Meagan on December 10, 2008 at 4:25pm: I do the same! and I know many girls my age that do too. I think it can be very difficult to be patient with yourself, just as it is with people you love. I'm going to try to be more patient with myself, like I already do with those I love.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by CJ Scarlet on December 10, 2008 at 4:41pm: Great, Meagan! I know that young girls, especially, suffer from this problem. I love to hear another young person claim their personal power and work to be kind to herself. You go girl!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Craig Pittman on February 20, 2009 at 2:39pm: So right Jerry. We really need to start by being our own best friend. Like ripples in a pond, our positive feelings will generate outwards to include others around us.
Here is a video that speaks to perception both of oursleves and the world around us. Enjoy everyong.

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup-frame.html; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by CJ Scarlet on February 20, 2009 at 7:15pm: Thank you so much for sharing that wonderful video, Craig! I loved it! It put my achy soul at rest and got me breathing deeply again. You are a treasure:-); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cheryl Sunshine Benson on February 27, 2009 at 4:06am: interview with god, wow, had that on my old msn site, and as a screen saver years ago. i cried the first time is saw it. my self talk is very negitive and repetitive of what was done to me and what i experience daily, i am living in the past often not the present mentally, verbally, and without the medical care i need physcially, i responsible for creating much of this nightmare from my thinking and also the extrreme isolation and what i endure daily is rather horrific.

my mother is very abusive, negative, she puts me down all the time always has. that is why imented onmy page, accetping acts of kindness with abuse, haven't figured that one out.

i have managed to hire a private caregiver keep alive, and talked abit to her about it last week, mom jumped right in with th e negitive, having people around that can discuss this and help you is tremdous help, or would be. being left alone like this for so long my mind goes over and over and over what was done, who did it, and they certainly aren't thinking ofme all the time.

i don't give myself enough credit or compliements. it has taken alot of courage to go through waht i have and continue. I subscribe to abraham-hicks, they sorta remind me daily, i often feel i need to totally emerge myself with them to get any where or out of the situation i find myself in, and they tell you how to do that mentally and with your emotions. not an easy task, used to be alot easier.

this has been a big stuggle for me long before i got ill, and worse after. however i used to be quite confident. i need rebulding, the soul/source is alsways there, it is tapping into that as well

catching myself on my thoughts (again at this) is the starting place for me, and believing this is going to change, i have to change my thoughts/thinking, i have lost the art of visualizing with emoition, it happened the other day regarding a material item, and i realized how fast i would have made that happened, prior. So i re-felt the feelings and the thought again. I need to do that with how I feel about myself, how I want to feel about myself, how I want heal without fear of the medical profession "my enemies".

self talk, i am so fear based since 2003 i find it hard. i think catching yourself saying negative self talk and changing it immediatly even if you don't believe it at the time is the place to start. I used to have a msn quit smoking site, i helped hunderds to quit smoking cold turkey - FREE, they just shut them down, had a few tears. I helped so many change their thinking, and wow, i reallyu need people around me to help me change mine. i really stuck with them until i was too bad off, someone else took over, it was thousands of hours, one to one support,and groups of us, it was an awesome site and
man of us bonded,

I am finding, and not liking, i see alot now, i saw post on here prior, re negative people/people who are ill and talk about it. well alot of people are hurt hurting and struggling, many say stay away from them. i've always gone in to help prior.

google abraham-hicks and get their daily emails sent to you, they are great. i am not totally focused on them, i did a online session world wide with them some nights ago was good, it seems never enough for me right now. i have some of their audio books as well haven't listened to in a while.

probably time for a replay, i also use holosync by centerpointe, i am on awakening level 1 with my own silent affirmations on them, i put too many on i couldn't let go of any, gee's the next one will be mroe simple. louse hay, you can heal your life, book is full of positive affirmations, i have quite abit of her stuff as well.

my present situation and circumstances are extreme to say the least, i don't give myself enough credit, i need to give myself more creidit. i give myself ALOT OF CREDIT THAT I AM COURAGEOUS BEYOND BELIEF, BEYOND MOST OTHER PEOPLES KNOWING,
i think that is about all i can do, i need FLOW. writing the out, psycially challenging as well. it would be very good practice on as regular basis as i can do it and change my focus .

namaste; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cheryl Sunshine Benson on February 27, 2009 at 4:26am: regarding acts of kindsness with abuse, i have figured it out, abuse is not acceptable, and i tell her this, but makes no difference, it is hard to have gratitude for things, so many, she has and does to for me, with the abuse so bad and other things. i am not in a state of 'allowing' her to just be and ignore it, i am too sore to the surface; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cheryl Sunshine Benson on February 27, 2009 at 4:29am: i corrected the first one and left links, it must have taken too long and didn;t save the update
here are the links

http://www.louisehay.com/

http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php
get daily quotes delivered to you free there though that link, i also subscribe to them on youtube

http://www.centerpointe.com/centerpointe/?gclid=CJz-gK-u_JgCFQ8gDQo...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by CJ Scarlet on February 27, 2009 at 4:00pm: Wow, what a heart-felt post, Cheryl! Your situation sounds very difficult indeed. According to some belief systems, you may actually have chosen that environment to further you own growth. Perhaps you are your mother's teacher about kindness and patience? Heaven only knows what our true purpose is, but it helps me to thing I am here for a reason. I hope your situation improves. Stay kind, no matter what happens in your interactions with others. That is the key to happiness. Blessings, CJ; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sandra on February 27, 2009 at 10:28pm: Cheryl,
Thankyou for sharing about your experiences - {hug} and the links. I posted Ways to Increase Self-Compassion: Thoughts & Tips under the comments here: http://www.thekindnesscure.org/group/selfkindness/forum/topics/self... which might be helpful. (I know they would be helpful for me if I would actually do them!); ▶ Reply to This